week 9

Hey all. This post is going to be a little different. I’ve hit a plateu (or brick wall) with the weight loss.
I last weighed in at around 90kg and despite my venture off the tracks I managed to stay the same. Good for me.

Now I started off this week good, eating right, laying off the smokes, played 2 full games of soccer and all that stuff. I ended the week on a series of bad food-related choices. More careless than anything. I had pizza, some donuts, some booze, some chips etc etc (not in that order, and not in one day either). The good thing is that I’m weighing in at around the same, so no harm done physically. The damage is mental.
Like I said I started off good, but didn’t see or feel any different at all. Usually I feel good both physically and mentally, and I can see my stomach deflated and dry looking the next morning, which always gives me a big of a motivational kick to start the day. However I felt lethargic, slept like shit EVERY night!, and looked somewhat bloated. My mental focus and mindset had been dealt a vicious fly kick.
I still don’t know if it’s got to do with not smoking, I really don’t. I can only guess it does. But I’ve been coping with the non smoking really really well. Some days I forget to put my patch on and I’m completely fine. It feels like I’m battling food more than nicotine.
Did I put too much emphasis on not substituting food for smokes? Maybe I did. Can I reverse it? I don’t think so. The sad truth is, is that I find myself fighting to even care about losing weight and being healthy. I think I’ve out too much focus into stop smoking.
I’ll be honest, I’d rather be 5 or 6 kg overweight and NOT smoking than thin and lean and smoking a packet a day. I find myself asking the question, if I’m gonna be a junk food junky and be fat, why not smoke too? However I’ve set myself this challenge and I intend to stick it out.
I’m even struggling to write these posts! I changed it up this week to hopefully give me a bit of a pick-me-up in the motivation department. I find that sometimes writing how I feel helps me mentally. Hence the reason for this blog.
Now that I’ve got my rant out of the way, how to fix the problem. I’m going to have to look at mixing up my diet, to beat the physical plateu, and as far a the metal block goes, well I guess I just have to dig deep and be a stubborn prick. If I can’t beat this mental block, then there goes the blog, followed by the diet. This means I’ll eventually turn into a fat non smoker. Pardon my French but f*#k that! I worked too damn hard to get where I am now! Now I’m imagining where I’ll be in 6, 7 or even 8 months from now if I keep up the good work. Yeah, I think I’ll stick with it.
For those reading who haven’t picked up on it, writing about how you feel can be a pretty handy motivational tool!
Lets hope my next post will be full of self praise and good news (apart from Sunday – my sons first birthday party, sure to be filled with lots of food, a few beers and some lollies).
Until then..

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